30 Teams

So, you're a new NBA fan... but you don't know where to start? You've come to the right place! This is my first blog and it will be about the 30 teams of the NBA. To become an NBA fan, you need to know the teams. I'm gonna narrow it down to 2 topics per team because it will take a lifetime to talk about everything! Plus it will be in semi-bullet form coz paragraphs can get boring... So here we go...

Quick note: Each team plays 41 games in their home court (HOME games) and 41 games in their opponent's court (ROAD games).

Graphics by: cgbam1989 on deviantart

ATLANTA HAWKS

THE CITY: Atlanta, Georgia. NBA players love going to this city during road games and they usually don't bring their wives/girlfriends. Why? Because they have the best strip clubs... I heard...

THE PLAYER: Josh Smith. This guy doesn't score a lot but when he does, it's usually a memorable play and you'll end up seeing it in sports channels worldwide! Yeah, his highlight plays are that good...


BOSTON CELTICS

THE CITY: Boston, Massachusetts. You can call Boston "Title Town". Their basketball, football, hockey, and baseball teams keep winning. Too many championship titles to count!

THE PLAYERS: Kevin Garnett can score inside (that would be dunks and lay-ups), Ray Allen can score outside (jumpers, 3-pointers), and you have Paul Pierce (he can score anywhere)

CHARLOTTE BOBCATS

THE OWNER: He's a billionaire who doesn't have to work so he bought this team and named it after himself. He's name is Bob. Why is he rich? He owns B.E.T. - Black Entertainment Television. Bob also hired Michael Jordan as a team official or something but it's just a job title. We all know that Jordan doesn't need to work too.

THE PLAYERS: Here's the thing... you don't need to know any of their players... They'll be relevant in two years though, then I'll let you know.

CHICAGO BULLS

THE FRANCHISE: Michael Jordan made this franchise so famous... if you don't know this franchise, it's because you were born in the year 2004.

THE PLAYER: Derrick Rose. He won rookie of the year and he grew up in Chicago. Can you imagine playing for your city during home games? He can...

CLEVELAND CAVALIERS

THE PLAYER: LeBron James is the Michael Jordan of the future. Enough said.

THE QUESTION: LeBron James is in the last year of his contract. Where will he play next year? We will know the answer on or before July 1, 2010.

DALLAS MAVERICKS

THE LIFESTYLE: Team plane? First class. Locker Room? First class. If you're a free agent, join this team and live like a king. And to think that when MC Hammer songs used to rule the party scene, no one wanted to play here.... You've come a long way Dallas!

THE PLAYER: Dirk Nowitzki (say No-Veet-Ski ). He's a 7-footer who can shoot 3-pointers consistently. That's a rare thing in the NBA.

DENVER NUGGETS

THE CITY: Denver, Colorado. This city is way above sea level. Players on road games always complain about the high altitude giving them breathing difficulties. If you have a good game here. You can have a good game anywhere.

THE PLAYER: Carmelo Anthony. This guy, who is sponsored by the Jordan Brand, only needs a few minutes to score a lot of points. Must be the shoes....


DETROIT PISTONS

THE FRANCHISE: Franchise owners wanted to pay tribute to Detroit for being the "Motor City" by naming their team after an engine part: a piston.

THE PLAYER: Charlie Villanueva. If you're watching a Detroit Pistons game and you see a player with no hair, no eyebrows, or no beard, that's him. He has this rare condition that doesn't allow hair to grow on his head and face. I heard he saves a lot on shampoo and shaving cream. So it can't be that bad...


GOLDEN STATE WARRIORS

THE TRIVIA: California is the 'Golden State' so it's only natural for their home games to be played in Oakland, California.

THE PLAYER: Corey Maggette. His family name rhymes with spaghetti. This guy can make 6 shots in a row, after missing 6 shots in a row. He's that streaky or inconsistent.

HOUSTON ROCKETS

THE FRANCHISE: Franchise owners wanted a name that reflects motion because San Diego was known as the "City of Motion". So they were called the San Diego Rockets before moving to Houston. New owners did not change the team name because Houston was known for the NASA program that sent rockets to outer space. So now we have the Houston Rockets.

THE PLAYER: Trevor Ariza. The sidekick for the Lakers last year becomes the main man for the Rockets this year. Can he handle being The Man?


INDIANA PACERS

THE COLOR: I'm not racist but this has to be the whitest team in the NBA.

THE PLAYER: Danny Granger. He either made the game tying shot or game winning shot in every close game he played in.

LOS ANGELES CLIPPERS

THE CURSE: Every time something good happens to this team, something bad will follow.

THE PLAYER: Blake Griffin. The best rookie they got for this year injured his knee right before the season started. See?! The curse... got worse...


LOS ANGELES LAKERS

THE SITUATION: They won last year and are trying to win it again this year. The only player they lost was replaced by an even better one. So things are looking good for this team.

THE PLAYER: Kobe Bryant. If Lebron James is the Michael Jordan of the future, then Kobe is the Michael Jordan of the present. (Oh... Coach Phil Jackson is a 'player' too. He's dating the team owner's daughter. That's gossip right? Yeah, welcome to L.A.)


MEMPHIS GRIZZLIES

THE FRANCHISE: Started out as the Vancouver Grizzlies because of the Grizzly Bear population up north... but the problem with the people up north is that they pay too much attention to Hockey... so the team transferred to Memphis.

THE PLAYER: Rudy Gay. Their number 1 player was the reason why fans filled up the stadium. Too bad his jersey is one of the worst when it comes to sales. Must be the surname...


MIAMI HEAT

THE CITY: Miami, Florida. Everything here is beautiful. The buildings. The beaches. The bars. The Bentleys... and The Cheerleaders.

THE PLAYER: Dwyane Wade. He scored a season-high 30 points a game. Why? Because his defenders were looking at the cheerleaders...


MILWAUKEE BUCKS

THE PLAYER: Michael Redd. After this guy shoots a 3-pointer... wait for the replay... then watch him shoot the ball again... study it... coz that's how a 'quick release jumper' looks like... in slow motion.

THE 3 POINT PLAY: The Double Screen Trap is hard to explain but I'll try. The guy dribbling the ball will "pretend" to call out a play... but in reality... his two biggest team mates are already Double Screen Trapping the defender of Michael Redd... So Redd runs out to the 3 point line... receives the ball and then... Boom! ...3-pointer's on the way to the basket... even before the defense can recover... (I should be a commentator.)


MINNESOTA TIMBERWOLVES

THE PLAYER: Ricky Rubio. He has a contract to play in Europe for the next two years.

THE CITY: Minneapolis, Minnesota. They have a great football team (The Vikings) so no one really pays attention to basketball here... but that won't be the case when Ricky Rubio arrives. See you in the year 2011.

NEW JERSEY NETS

THE OWNER: Jay-Z. Yes, Beyonce's husband... he's moving the team to Brooklyn. Soon.

THE SITUATION: Bad. Experts are saying they'll finish in the bottom 5 this season.


NEW ORLEANS HORNETS

THE TENANT: This team had to "rent" Oklahoma City's home court when Hurricane Katrina flooded New Orleans...

THE PLAYER: Chris Paul is an Olympic Gold Medalist, an All-Star Player, and his first NBA dunk was against Dwight Howard. What makes this special? Howard is 11 inches taller...


NEW YORK KNICKS

THE ARENA: Madison Square Garden. It's the holy place of basketball... It's the NBA's version of the Vatican City.

THE PLAYER: Their superstar player is arriving next year. We just don't know who yet...

OKLAHOMA THUNDER

THE FRANCHISE: Remember the Seattle SuperSonics? Because this is the Seattle SuperSonics with a new name and a new city.

THE PLAYER: Kevin Durant. He's the best player... among teams with losing records. Ouch!

ORLANDO MAGIC

THE PLAYER: Dwight Howard claims to be superman... and his kryptonite is free throw shooting...

THE STATUS: They were second place last year... but they don't like it because nobody cares who got second place.


PHILADELPHIA 76ERS

THE HISTORY: The Declaration of Independence was signed here in the year 1776. So the franchise owners named the team "76ers".

THE PLAYER: Andre Iguodala. (Say Ee-Goo-Dala) Powerful dunker! When he dunks, your '32-inch flat screen TV' vibrates...


PHOENIX SUNS

THE SPEED: Super fast. In the NBA, the team possessing the ball needs to score in 24 seconds or less... These guys can score in 12...

THE PLAYER: Steve Nash. Whenever this guy has the ball, he will either score or make the pass that will lead to a score.


PORTLAND TRAILBLAZERS

THE OWNER: Paul Allen. He co-founded Microsoft. The team staff probably got their XBOX units for free.

THE PLAYER: Andre Miller. He's the human version of the Energizer Bunny. He's been playing for 540 games in a row now and he's still going... and going... and going...


SACRAMENTO KINGS

THE PLAYER: Kevin Martin. Natural scorer. On any given night, this guy can score 50 points...

THE OWNERS. The Maloof Brothers. They're operating this team for fun... coz, like any other team owner, they don't need the money ...they just need the lifestyle.


SAN ANTONIO SPURS

THE AGE: They used to win a lot... but old age seems to be catching up on them...

THE PLAYER: Tony Parker. He's the youngest superstar on the team and he married Eva Longoria. That's all you need to know...

TORONTO RAPTORS

THE FRANCHISE: Team owners picked the name "Raptors" because at that time, 'Jurassic Park' was the box-office hit.

THE PLAYER: Jose Calderon. He shot 154 free throws last season... 151 went in.


UTAH JAZZ

THE FRANCHISE: Started in New Orleans and were called the "Jazz" because of the music scene down there...

THE CITY: Salt Lake City. There's nothing to do here. That's why when teams visit Utah for a road game, they bring with them their entire DVD collection!


WASHINGTON WIZARDS

THE FRANCHISE: They were known as the "Bullets" but team owners changed the name to "Wizards" because when you hear the word bullet, violence comes to mind. But now, when you hear the team name, you'll be thinking of Harry Potter...

THE NUMBER: Zero. Gilbert Arenas wears jersey number zero because he heard negative comments about him having zero minutes in his NBA career...

Blogged By: Buyaw